Thursday, January 6, 2011

Thought Process of the Moment

*warning this post is SUPER LONG*

I said my next post was going to be my New Year's resolutions and thoughts, but this post keeps simmering in my head and I need to type it out before it drives me nuts. For those of you who haven't followed this blog for very long (or have forgotten what's been written...goodness knows I have!), this is basically my story:

I was never one of those people who knew what they were going to do with their life from a young age. It wasn't until my senior year in high school that I decided that a career as a pharmacist seemed like a good match. At USC, the pharmacy program starts with 2 years of "undergrad" then halfway into your sophomore year you apply to pharmacy school, which is essentially grad school.

Once I got into college, I had a pretty hard time adjusting to what was expected of me and how to prepare for courses. I went from an all A's high school student with a 3.97 GPA to struggling to make B's and C's in college. If you've ever taken a college science class, you know the mindset is that if most of the class are making C's, the teacher is happy. Long story short, my grades weren't what they were needing to be to guarantee a spot into pharmacy school.

To make this long story short, I applied to pharmacy school here at USC my sophomore year but was rejected without even an interview. Since I completed all the pre-pharmacy requirements, I had to make the decision to switch my major to biology. At this point I just saw this as a temporary fix until I applied for pharmacy school again.

As I continued in my college classes, my grades didn't do much to improve. I don't know if it was the fact that I was denied getting into school and having no motivation or what, but I continued to make mostly C's and a couple B's in my core science classes. I did however greatly improve my PCAT score, which is the pharmacy admissions test. So when I applied to pharmacy school again, much to my suprise I got an interview call the very first day! At this point my GPA was right at a 3.0, so getting an interview this early was a complete shock!! I thought my interview had gone very well and felt like I made good conversation with both people I interviewed with.

After my interview I didn't hear from the school in the next couple weeks which made me nervous. Around mid-February I got a letter saying I was being put on the wait-list. Naturally I was discouraged, but immediately went to the dean and we talked for a good 30 minutes about my chances of getting in and anything I could do to further my chances of being accepted. I left that meeting feeling very confident that I would be in Pharmacy school in the fall of 2010.

As the rest of the semester finished up and summer was here, I never heard from pharmacy school. I had heard stories of people getting calls just days before classes starting saying they were accepted. Of course, I heard nothing. I finally got a letter in MID SEPTEMBER saying that I had, once again, been rejected from pharmacy school. Keep in mind that classes started around August 20. I obviously knew that I hadn't gotten in once classes started, but the fact that the letter didn't come until a couple weeks later really left a sour taste in my mouth.

So now I'm sitting here, just days away from starting my senior spring semester at Carolina, getting a degree in something that was not my original intention, having absolutely NO idea what I want to do with my life. Right now I'm set to graduate this summer since switching degrees caused me to be just a tad behind on the biology track. I've decided to apply to pharmacy school once again, but I can't help but feel that my heart just isn't in it anymore. I guess it's the fact that I've already been rejected twice, and that makes me wonder if this is really what I am supposed to do with my life. AND this time my GPA is lower (just under a 3.0 at a 2.9), so I am seriously doubting whether or not I'm getting in.

On the other hand, I have NO IDEA what I would do with a biology degree. The only work experience I really have is as a pharmacy technician since I've done that for almost 3 years now. I've thought about graduate school, optometry school, cosmetic chemist....this list goes on and on. But I'm really not completely set on one direction. AND I'm going to have to take essentially a year off if pharmacy school doesn't pan out.

Basically, I feel completely lost in my life. I'm only applying to 2 pharmacy schools this year because (1) the way USC's program is set up I don't meet most of the prereq's for most of the schools across the country (and taking those classes would put off my degree even further) (2) I was so apathetic about pharmacy school this year that I let the deadline for USC's application pass (by 1 day, but I still haven't told my parents, another stress factor). And one of the schools I don't even wanna go to.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me I am not the only one that has been in this situation before! If you have any advice for me, PLEASE tell me! I'm tired of talking about it to my parents, who just stress me out. If you have any career advice/recommendations, send them my way!!

If you have made it all the way through this post, congratulations!! I promise the new year will have more upbeat posts, but this blog is for me to document my life, and right now this is the one thing dominating my thoughts. All I can guarantee is that 2011 will definitely be a life-changing year!!


  1. I can definitely relate to what you're saying. I wanted to be a pediatrician since I was in the 6th grade and my dreams were crushed when I couldn't get above a C in my science classes. I decided that the best thing for me to do was to change my major from biology (which is probably not an option for you if you are about to graduate!). I changed my major to elementary education. There are days when it feels like I've found my calling, days when I'm scared to death of being a teacher, and days when I just don't care about any of it at all. What I think is important though, and what I did, was to forget about finding a career and just decide what is important to you? For me when I thought about what was important to me, it was working with children, and not only working with them, but building relationships with them which doctors rarely have the opportunity to do. Being present in my family's life was important to me too. Having a lot of money was not as important, as long as I had a happy family. Once I knew what I wanted out of my life I was able to find a career that centered around those things, and viola! I'm going to be an elementary teacher in less than a year! Think about what you want out of life, rather than focusing on what career you want to have. It worked for me! Also, just remember that you're young and you have all the time in the world to figure you life out (even if you already have a college degree). I know this comment is long, but your post was too ;) Good luck! And most importantly, pray about it, He'll show you what to do!!

  2. Oh hon, you are not alone. It's totally normal to not know what you want to do... I graduated from college in 2007 and still have plenty of friends who don't know what the heck they want to do with their life.

    The best advice I can give is not to do anything unless your heart is in it. Pharmacy school is HARD. It would be awful to get there and realize it's not what you want to do.
    Not to mention any sort of graduate school is expensive. It could end up being a colossal waste of time and money!
    It would definitely not be the end of the world if you took a few years off after school, got a job doing something (whatever, really), and made sure you were 100% of your decision.

    Good luck, and don't worry, you'll get it all figured out!

  3. I just stumbled upon your blog, which I love by the way, and I felt so compelled to comment. I relate 100% to how you're feeling right now. I just graduated college last year, and I feel like the majority of my friends are a) working jobs that have nothing to do with their major and b) feeling the exact same way you are feeling. Even the ones that have the jobs they planned on aren't sure it's for them. It's just a very different time in your life from anything before, and I think it makes a lot of people unsettled. But the good news is that I can't think of a single one of my friends who is unhappy with what they're doing right now, even if it is two part time jobs. I definitely agree with the comments above me, pray about it and take your time figuring out what it is you're meant to do - and you'll be amazing at itt! Good luck!

  4. First off I just want to say that I've just started following your blog and I love it! I know how you feel all to well. In high school I graduated with a 4.2 GPA and I thought college would be just as easy and boy was I WRONG! My first semester went okay but then second semester I started orgo and it killed me. Now I'm in the process of regaining a competitive GPA instead of applying to medical school. It was a tough decision to make about taking a year off, but I think it will be worth it. I'm deciding between going into research or doing something like the Southern Teachers Agency here's the link: . I liked the schools it offered better than Teach for America. Hope this helps and best of luck!!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...