*warning this post is SUPER LONG*
I said my next post was going to be my New Year's resolutions and thoughts, but this post keeps simmering in my head and I need to type it out before it drives me nuts. For those of you who haven't followed this blog for very long (or have forgotten what's been written...goodness knows I have!), this is basically my story:
I was never one of those people who knew what they were going to do with their life from a young age. It wasn't until my senior year in high school that I decided that a career as a pharmacist seemed like a good match. At USC, the pharmacy program starts with 2 years of "undergrad" then halfway into your sophomore year you apply to pharmacy school, which is essentially grad school.
Once I got into college, I had a pretty hard time adjusting to what was expected of me and how to prepare for courses. I went from an all A's high school student with a 3.97 GPA to struggling to make B's and C's in college. If you've ever taken a college science class, you know the mindset is that if most of the class are making C's, the teacher is happy. Long story short, my grades weren't what they were needing to be to guarantee a spot into pharmacy school.
To make this long story short, I applied to pharmacy school here at USC my sophomore year but was rejected without even an interview. Since I completed all the pre-pharmacy requirements, I had to make the decision to switch my major to biology. At this point I just saw this as a temporary fix until I applied for pharmacy school again.
As I continued in my college classes, my grades didn't do much to improve. I don't know if it was the fact that I was denied getting into school and having no motivation or what, but I continued to make mostly C's and a couple B's in my core science classes. I did however greatly improve my PCAT score, which is the pharmacy admissions test. So when I applied to pharmacy school again, much to my suprise I got an interview call the very first day! At this point my GPA was right at a 3.0, so getting an interview this early was a complete shock!! I thought my interview had gone very well and felt like I made good conversation with both people I interviewed with.
After my interview I didn't hear from the school in the next couple weeks which made me nervous. Around mid-February I got a letter saying I was being put on the wait-list. Naturally I was discouraged, but immediately went to the dean and we talked for a good 30 minutes about my chances of getting in and anything I could do to further my chances of being accepted. I left that meeting feeling very confident that I would be in Pharmacy school in the fall of 2010.
As the rest of the semester finished up and summer was here, I never heard from pharmacy school. I had heard stories of people getting calls just days before classes starting saying they were accepted. Of course, I heard nothing. I finally got a letter in MID SEPTEMBER saying that I had, once again, been rejected from pharmacy school. Keep in mind that classes started around August 20. I obviously knew that I hadn't gotten in once classes started, but the fact that the letter didn't come until a couple weeks later really left a sour taste in my mouth.
So now I'm sitting here, just days away from starting my senior spring semester at Carolina, getting a degree in something that was not my original intention, having absolutely NO idea what I want to do with my life. Right now I'm set to graduate this summer since switching degrees caused me to be just a tad behind on the biology track. I've decided to apply to pharmacy school once again, but I can't help but feel that my heart just isn't in it anymore. I guess it's the fact that I've already been rejected twice, and that makes me wonder if this is really what I am supposed to do with my life. AND this time my GPA is lower (just under a 3.0 at a 2.9), so I am seriously doubting whether or not I'm getting in.
On the other hand, I have NO IDEA what I would do with a biology degree. The only work experience I really have is as a pharmacy technician since I've done that for almost 3 years now. I've thought about graduate school, optometry school, cosmetic chemist....this list goes on and on. But I'm really not completely set on one direction. AND I'm going to have to take essentially a year off if pharmacy school doesn't pan out.
Basically, I feel completely lost in my life. I'm only applying to 2 pharmacy schools this year because (1) the way USC's program is set up I don't meet most of the prereq's for most of the schools across the country (and taking those classes would put off my degree even further) (2) I was so apathetic about pharmacy school this year that I let the deadline for USC's application pass (by 1 day, but I still haven't told my parents, another stress factor). And one of the schools I don't even wanna go to.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me I am not the only one that has been in this situation before! If you have any advice for me, PLEASE tell me! I'm tired of talking about it to my parents, who just stress me out. If you have any career advice/recommendations, send them my way!!
If you have made it all the way through this post, congratulations!! I promise the new year will have more upbeat posts, but this blog is for me to document my life, and right now this is the one thing dominating my thoughts. All I can guarantee is that 2011 will definitely be a life-changing year!!